Lauren's a mini-me?

You know, when Lauren was born, I didn't think she inherited much from me.  I mean, sure, she has my big melon of a head (thus, the need for an episiotomy), and I figured she got the Schade chin and a singular dimple like me (on the opposite side).  But until recently, I didn't think she got much else from me other than my stubborn temperament.  But check out her likeness to a picture of me that my mom pulled out:

I was amazed at how similar we look.  Kevin now calls Lauren my clone or a mini-me.  And she also is turning into a control freak, though her excuse could just be that she's a toddler and learning to exercise her dominion.  What's my excuse, again?

On a totally different note....The other day, Lauren wanted to do "the animals" on the computer, which involves playing on Fisher-Price's website.  I had showed her before how to do the ABCs game, which is simply pressing the space bar to advance to the next screen.  But she likes the game matching the animal sound to the animal, which requires you to actually move the cursor to the animal, and then click.  Previously, I would always do it for her.  But I was not in the disposition to do it for her this day, and thought, "What the heck?"  So I showed her how to use one finger to work the touch pad on my laptop and then left click.  I didn't actually think she'd be able to do it.  But she was able to do it from the first try. 

I was half awestruck, and half full of pride that my little girl was growing up.  I guess I shouldn't be that surprised.  She is 3, after all, which is when I started playing the piano.  I guess I just got so used to thinking of her as a "baby", that now when she actually shows signs of growing up into a little girl, it knocks me off balance.  I'm amazed at how quickly these little sponges pick up on concepts, language, conversational skills, hand-eye coordination, etc.!!!

Well, we've gone and moved....

Well, we did it.  With the countdown on to baby Esch coming and my parents leaving on their mission in a month, we went ahead and moved into my parents' house.  This is NOT something I recommend doing while parents are STILL LIVING in the house.  We only moved a third of our stuff down, and there have already been quite a few rough patches, some hurt feelings, and lessons in eggshell walking--not an easy feat.  Of course, it doesn't help that one party is emotionally charged with leaving their home behind and departing the country for two years, and the other party is hormo-tionally charged with pregnancy hormones and anxious about juggling two kids.

 My parents' living room at the moment, which will probably see little change in the next 3-4 weeks until we can clear out room for Esch stuff.

But the good--make that GREAT--news is that the week we planned on moving anyway, we FINALLY, after two long years, were able to put our house under contract!!!!  Not the price we've wanted, but the timing is right to just cut bait and walk away.  And this buyer seems to be quite reasonable, in comparison to the neurotic buyer of '08 and the non-committal buyer of '09.  (Though I'm not a fan of this home inspector, who seems quite reluctant to share info on how to remedy situations.)  But barring unforeseen obstacles, we should have our house sold by the time the baby comes. (Preferably before.) 

I can't help but think of an Elder Oaks article that I came across last month as I was chucking old BYU Magazines.  It was all about timing and surrendering ourselves to God's timing.  He said you can have the best-laid plans for the most righteous reasons, but ultimately, it is not our choice in life how the timing of things works out.  Examples he referred to included finding your spouse and moving from place to place.  Hmm.  Both quite appropo in my life.  When I stumbled upon this article, I thought it was to help me more with the visiting teaching message of last couple of months on being emotionally resilient in learning self-reliance and managing resources.  But now, with the sale of our house happening just as we were planning to move, just before the baby comes, and just before my parents leave, I see that the article was to prepare me to again learn the lesson of Ecclesiates 3:1: "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven."

I suppose I should have closed with just that, but I feel the need to vent a little.  If you want to stop reading, feel free.  But since this is my blog....I have to admit I do have quite a bit of seller's remorse.  I love my house and how we've really made it ours over the last 6 3/4 years.  I love the neighborhood, especially our new neighbors who moved in last year.  I love all the natural light that comes in through the south windows.  I love the new doors we put in.  I love all the snow we get up there (despite only 25 miles farther north).  I love feeling independent and self-sufficient, grown-up and responsible.  I worry that we'll never get that again.  I'm sure it's hard for everyone to leave their first house.  But if I had another house of my own to look forward to, I think I could adjust.  However, it's a bit depressing, as well as I feel like I'm regressing to move into my parents' home, the place I grew up.  Sure, we'll be saving a truckload of money each month.  Sure, we'll eventually have more room.  Sure, we'll be minutes from Kevin's work.  Sure, we'll have more family time.  Sure, we'll save money by not paying Cook County's insane sales tax.  Sure, we'll have access to a pool for two summers.  But with future housing so uncertain, and, as one person put it to Kevin, needing a shoehorn to make two households fit into one, it certainly makes the seller's remorse cut even deeper.

Hi, my name is Andrea, and I'm a control freak....

Hi, my name is Andrea, and I'm a control freak.  Or at least I think I might be.  Ironically, there is nothing in my life right now that I can control.  Which is probably why this thought is at the forefront of my brain.  And which probably explains why I've been going crazy lately.  Okay, so "control freak" might be going a bit overboard, but I think everyone likes to feel a little in control of some aspect of their life.  Just for jollies, I thought I'd make a list of things I CANNOT control right now, but I greatly wish I could.  (Granted there are many other things that I can't control like death and taxes, but I am only focusing on the very pertinent things right now.)

1)  Finances.  With a husband that is self-employed, the variability in income is unpredictable and quite stressful, to say the least.
2)  Selling our house.  We've had our house on the market for quite a long time now.  Even when we have showings scheduled, and I've killed myself getting the house ready, there's no guarantee they won't call up 20 minutes beforehand and cancel--like today.  Grrrr.  Or...they only give us 45 minutes notice that they do want to come that day.
3)  Future housing.  With a baby imminent in 6-9 weeks, I have decided to give up on keeping up with item #2 and make a pre-emptive move to Naperville.  We will be moving into my parents' house (just minutes from Kevin's work), as they prepare to embark on their 2-year mission abroad, just days before the baby is due.
3b) Where the heck we are going to put our stuff when we do move.  My parents' home is lined wall-to-wall with furniture and 60+ years of living that has not had to move in 30+ years, and that is not planning on moving for the next 2 years.
4)  The arrival of baby #2.  Enough said.
5)  Who's going to watch Lauren when baby #2 does decide to arrive. The person that was supposed to watch Lauren during the adventure of delivery now is unable to say definitely yes or definitely no, as is the case with my back-up person, as well.
6)  Whether I will have any help after the baby arrives.  With my mom headed off to Brazil 12 days before I'm due, and a sister with 4 kids of her own, it is not looking very optimistic that I will have in-house help as I adjust to having 2 kids.
7)  Weight gain.  Ok, I can look back and say that with Lauren, I definitely took in more calories than I needed.  But with this pregnancy, I can truthfully say I am eating no different than pre-pregnancy, and yet every time I go to the doctor, this mysterious weight gain appears.  People tell me I'm "all baby", and yet this little thing that only weighs 3 pounds right now seems to be __ times that much on the scale.  (I could probably list a lot of things about what this pregnancy is doing to my body, but let's be realistic.  Who can control what hormones do to our bodies?  But I was hoping that I would have at least some control of weight gain this time.)
8)  My 3-year-old.  I think it's safe to say that anyone who has had a 3-year-old could write pages and pages about not feeling in control.
9)  My jewelry business.  Just when I think I have some good business lined up, it falls through.

However, there is one thing that I cannot control, but is putting me in a good mood today:  the weather.  It has been snowing ALL day today.  We're due for 7-12" of fluffy, white stuff.  And every time I look outside, I get giddy.  (If I could control the weather, I would have it snow every day of winter.  OK, maybe not every day, but how about at least once a week?)

Thank goodness for snow in my world of unpredictability.

OK, so the following post was actually written on December 31st, but I didn't publish it immediately because I was hoping to get the 3D ultrasound pictures scanned.  Obviously it didn't happen.  Since then, much has happened, so I will now have to write another post to play catch up.  Maybe tomorrow.... :)

So I've just spent over an hour catching up on various posts of friends and family.  And even though my bum seems to be going numb, I can't help but start at least a draft of a post.  Updating my blog has been on my to do list for at least 3 weeks, but there's something that's pulling me in at this moment.  If I think and try to identify it, I think it's the fact that I'm such a horrible journal-keeper, and this seems to be the only medium I can actually follow through with in recording my thoughts and events of our lives.

First, an update about the baby.  At our 20 week visit at the end of November (see? I'm not very good at keeping up-to-date), we got a sneak peek of the baby, including 3D shots of it.  I think it's already starting to look more like Kevin's side than mine.  We did NOT find out the gender, so don't even think about asking.  There are so few good surprises in life.  Besides, we didn't find out with Lauren, so I'm sure we have enough unisex clothes for at least the first 3 months.  Although, on second thought, this baby will be born during a completely different season, so we just may still end up buying clothes.   I'm now 24 weeks, and the child seems to be doing well in there.  It's kicking harder, seems to be migrating upward, and is finding a new locale on the right side of my ribcage to call home.  Thus, heartburn and reflux are making a return appearance.  Next Dr. visit is the lovely glucose/diabetes test.

I am happy to say that I felt a lot more festive this Christmas season.  However, it seemed to fly by faster than I would have liked.  For an instant, I might understand why people start getting in the spirit of it just after Halloween.  But I still think it should be outlawed for retailers to start doing Christmas music and displays until the week of Thanksgiving.

Perhaps one reason Christmas was more fun this year was because Lauren is finally at the age where she kind of gets the concept of Santa Claus.  She seemed to fall in love with the classic Rudolph movie, although it seemed to prompt her to add clarification that there are no monsters in her bedroom at night.  And she really enjoyed helping make sugar cookies at Grandma's house this year.

On a completely different tangent:  Lauren is doing really well with potty training.  I was a bit worried the first couple of days because she was 0 for 3.  But then the 3rd day it just kind of clicked and she was 6 for 6 in a row over the next couple of days.  She is as stubborn as, if not more than, me, so there are times I really have to work to get her on the potty.  But as long as she doesn't get too excited or distracted, she does well.  Some of you may be better parents than we are, but finding bribes that worked seemed to be the key to her success.  Although, we'll see how it goes once we run out of the bribes.

Birthdays and Thanksgiving

I thought I'd get a little festive with the blog.  I hope no one that reads this is colorblind, or all they'll see is green--which I guess isn't bad since green is also a Christmas color.

The last six weeks of the year are always the most chaotic for me.  It all kicks off with Kevin's birthday (Nov. 23rd), unless, of course, it happens to be the year where Thanksgiving is as early as it can be (the 22nd).  So between November 22nd and January 1st, there's all three of our birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas (and all the parties that lead up to it, including the ward party which I have to help plan), and New Year's (which I'm not really sure why I'm including because I don't do a whole lot for it).  All I can say is I am SO glad Baby Esch will be born on the opposite side of the year!

For Kevin's birthday, the original plan was to go down to Shedd's Aquarium downtown.  Kevin had been talking about taking the Squirt there for months.  But somehow when the day came, he ended up going to Rockford--with Lauren--and left me with some free time to myself.  Not too shabby on my end. :)  Let's hope he doesn't expect the return of the favor on my birthday.  For dinner, both of our parents met up with us at Stir Crazy at Woodfield.  Kind of a mini-reunion, as that is where our parents met when we were engaged.

Then we headed back home for some Schade dump cake and ice cream.

Overall, a pretty low-key day, for which I was grateful in my current state.  A theme I think we will see recur over the next 5 months.


Next was Thanksgiving.  It was my first time hosting it, and I was a bit nervous, since I was in charge of the turkey, and the pumpkin pies.  After what seemed like a hundred calls to my mother (and sister when my mom got tired of the answering the phone), the two turkey breasts turned out nice and moist.  I even felt inspired to break out the china.  After all, how often do I really get to use it?  Once again, our company included my parents, my youngest brother, and Kevin's mom.  I was happy that I had divvied up the dinner assignments.  And my sweet mother and mother-in-law kind of took over once they got here and let me rest, including washing the china afterward.  Though I've had more energy lately now that I'm in my fifth month, it still is not THAT much energy.  The dinner was yummy, full of traditional food.  And without sounding like I'm tooting my own horn, there's nothing like homemade pumpkin pie!

My goal for the next Thanksgiving I host is to conquer an entire turkey toute seule.








The next day was Lauren's 3rd birthday.  Of course, in my mind, I had previously made all of these grandiose plans like any mother could.  But when it boiled down to it, I decided to Keep It Simple Stupid.  Kevin and I stayed up Thanksgiving night, putting together her big present--a kitchen of her own.  She's always pretending to make us something, so we figured a kitchen would be great.  We debated whether to ask Santa to bring it to her, but in the end, we realized we would never be able to bring it back from Naperville in our small cars.  But maybe Santa will bring her something to complement her kitchen.

Did she like it?  She loved it!  She spent at least an hour playing with it, which is amazingly long time for our little pinball.  Of course, she still had to have someone else there to interact with.  She's not a child who can easily entertain herself without interaction or talking through what she's doing.

We had sent out invites to family and a few friends to join us for pizza and cake and ice cream.  But knowing that it was the day after Thanksgiving, (and myself, having experienced getting the shaft on my birthday because it's close to a holiday), I didn't really expect a whole bunch of people to come.  So thrice again, the celebratory circle included only my parents and Kevin's parents.  Three times in one week!  I think that's a new record.  Dinner was simple--pizza delivered.  Celebration was simple as well--purple homemade cake with ice cream (of course, every adult opted for the moose tracks).

For her presents, Lauren also got a holiday dress, Happy Meal food to go with her kitchen, and a Toy Story coloring book from us.  From her grandparents, she got a singing card, marble works (you build it and marbles run through it),  a bible-themed coloring book, and a stuffed lion, which, of course, instantly became one of her required sleep companions.

Overall, it was a good week.  I'm glad I didn't kill myself scrubbing my house clean, because when it boiled down to it, people just didn't care.  They came for the company.  Lesson learned.

Fall Is Flying By

So I've been putting off blogging because I was hoping to have another round of great news (i.e. selling our house), but then I realized that fall is flying by, and I shouldn't miss the chance to blog about it.  

(As a side note, we do have an offer on the house, but it's another neurotic prospect who just doesn't seem to want to commit.  All we seem to attract is the weirdos, even though realtors have told us our house shows the nicest.  Fish or cut bait, dude!)

Lauren was excited to get a car from a family moving, who couldn't fit it in their truck.  Unfortunately, she's only been able to drive it once so far.  

She doesn't quite get the hang of steering and several times crashed into Kevin's car or the house, which she thought was hilarious, of course.  But next spring it should provide ample fun while I push the baby for a walk.  (At least, I hope she figures out the steering thing by then!) 


What kind of blogging mom would I be if I didn't talk about Halloween?  Halloween was a blast for the Monkess this year!  She has been so obsessed with dinosaurs as of late thanks to the new Dinosaur Train show on PBS, that she was adamant about being a dinosaur.  Our neighbor had a dragon costume that he wore last year, and it fit the bill nicely.  She periodically had to try on her "dinosaur coat" for a few minutes at least once a week throughout October.  

As Halloween arrived, she was chomping at the bit once she saw other kids start to come around.  So Kevin took her out in the bitter cold.  I wasn't sure whether she would be brave enough to do doors by herself.  But fortunately her buddy, Detton, aka Buzz Lightyear, from next door decided he'd rather go out trick-or-treating with Lauren than hand out candy.  

Eventually the two of them got brave enough to do doors by themselves.  And once they made it up and down the entire street, they couldn't get enough.  But by then all the adults were freezing.  So Lauren's fascination turned to watching for kids coming so she could hand out some candy.  

Oh, and we can't forget to mention her tattoos.  In true toddler fashion, there was no saving some for tomorrow.  Had to get those skeletons and skulls on!









This fall has been so much on the chilly side!  Combine that with the fact that I am just now starting to feel better at 16 weeks along, and that adds up to doing very little outside.  So Lauren jumps on any little chance to go play outside, even if it's just hanging out while Daddy fixes the soffit vents.  This morning, Kevin went out to rake leaves for the pick-up, so Lauren jumped on that opportunity to play, which ended up providing at least one nice picture.  There are very few pictures we get where Lauren will say cheese AND look at the camera.  Most often we get a "Cheese" but no eyeballs.

I am constantly amazed how quickly my 2-year-old is growing up.  The funniest things to me (though sometimes not so funny at the moment) are how she turns our words around on us.  Like tonight when I was tapping my toe at dinner, she said, "Please stop dat.  Stop doing dat, please.  Please just eat."  I so wanted to laugh out loud, but instead just said, "You're right.  Thank you for asking so nicely."  In some ways, I don't want her to grow up--like the way she says, "I want to watch a boovie."  I tried to change boovie to movie in her vocabulary today, but afterwards I thought, "She'll grow up too fast as it is."  I am comforted somewhat by the thought that I'm lucky to have another chance to watch a baby come into this world and go through these stages again--which I'm sure is why some women continue to have baby after baby.  But then I think about how the baby will probably have such a different personality, and will not display the same cute quirks that Lauren does.  It makes me want to follow Lauren around with a video camera all day.  But that would be ridiculous, I know.  I guess I'd better get going on a starting a journal!  (Yeah, daily planner idea--you didn't quite work.)

Big News at Our House

I've been waiting for my husband to make his calls before blogging about this, but I might just be waiting 'til the cows come home, sleep, and gradually age toward become a nice filet mignon or prime rib before that happens.  Anyone who knows Kevin, i.e. his family, can appreciate that sentiment. 


While I would love to blog about being able to sell our house, that just is not going to be the case any time soon, unless we opt to simply give away our house.  Besides, the news is much better.  We are finally expecting our second child.  Yay!!  We didn't know if this day would ever come after having to wait so long for Lauren.  But this and other experiences have only taught me to a greater degree that God is in control and my timing, mysteriously, never seems to be in line with what He has in mind.

The due date for Monkess #2 is April 14, 2010.  Which means taxes better get filed EARLY next year.  (Hint. Hint.)  I'm excited.  I've always wanted a spring baby.  And per my sister's request, it will not be in February or May.  (So now there's no excuse, Sue, for not remembering the child's birthday in a lavish manner.)  It will be nice to have a birthday in our family that is not within the last six weeks of the calendar year.  And it will be nice to be done with flu season and be able to go for walks right away.  (Although this IS Chicago, so the weather still may not let us go for walks 'til June!)  And even summer will be great because we can all chill at Mom's pool with the baby still immobile in the stroller--if there actually is a summer next year.

If anyone is wondering if I have been sick, the answer, unfortunately, is a resounding YES!  Before I got pregnant, I told myself that the next time around I would keep exercising and I was convinced that I would be less sick and basically, unstoppable.  But for whatever reason--whether it's because I'm 3 years older (a mere 29), or because this could be a different gender (which we probably won't find out--again), or because this child will be even more high-maintenance than Lauren {SHUDDER!}--I don't know, but I have been much sicker this time around.  Food is my arch-enemy, but an enemy that apparently I can't live without.  And forget about cleaning or going to run errands.  I have been lucky to have angelic people and PBS to watch Lauren while I lay in bed barely surviving.  I just don't know how women who get sick keep having kids!  And poor, wonderful Kevin has had to be both parents, and I know he's getting burned out.  So as we look forward to beginning the second trimester, I'm not sure who wants me to get better more!

I'd include a picture, but the only picture we have is of a speck.  But according to my youngest brother, just looking at the wallpaper on this blog is an ultrasound of what Monkess #2 will look like.